Ensign Q
by TBGWNMHGB
Summary: After Q was turned human as a punishment, he was never turned back. The daily life of Q on the USS Enterprise as he learns to be just that.
1. Day 1 Part 1

A/N This chapter has been written for almost six months now. But when I was going to add it, I found another story with exactly the same premise. So I decided to trash it. Until now that is. I figured that it was too much fun to write to let it go to waste, and will add it anyway. There will be a lot of headcanon about the Q Continuum since nothing was really said about it on the show.

 **Day 1**

The bridge crew members had seated themselves around a sleek black table as they pondered the situation at hand. Q. The bothersome Q had been an ongoing annoyance on the Enterprise. Due to this, meetings discussing the matter had been frequent, and hardly ever dull. And this one was certainly no different. Picard started. "Q is back with a more elaborate trick than ever. As you saw he is now claiming to be human." He finished, and started to lean into the table, waiting for a response.

"I stood by as Dr. Crusher gave him a full examination." Answered Worf. He continued, "Every test showed him to be completely human."

"Yes but this is Q. He could have interfered." Picard responded deep in thought.

"There was no interference from what I could see."

Troi joined the conversation with a weary look. "I believe he may be telling the truth." The others immediately gave her their full attention. She sensed both curiosity, and disbelief, "For starters, in all of his other visits, I couldn't sense anything from him. He felt foreign to me. But now I can sense his state of mind just like any other crew member." Riker spoke up.

"Is there anyway he could fake that?"

"I doubt it." Troi said before continuing, "But that's not what convinced me. It was what I sensed. I sensed fear, anger, and confusion. He felt human." The table was silent for a moment as they processed this new information.

"Didn't he say that it was a punishment?" Riker pointed out.

"You have a point number one. Q has divulged so little concerning the continuum that their laws and customs are unknown to us. We have no data to go on."

"Sir, If I am correct and he truly is human, what do we do with him? He knows nothing about being human! He knows as much about our laws and customs as we do his. Would he stay on the Enterprise?" Troi said her voice laced with concern. Picard replied with a tired, resigned, long suffering sigh.

"I am going to leave him in his cell for the next few hours. If there are no escape attempts, tricks, or any signs of his powers at all, I will give him his own quarters, and he will learn here starting as an ensign." Everyone but Troi stared at the captain as if he was insane.

"Sir you can't be serious!" Worf said dumbfounded upon hearing his plan.

"Captain do you really think this is the best idea?" Said Riker agreeing with the Klingon.

"I don't like the sound of it either. But if Q is telling the truth it would go against everything we stand for to abandon him in an unfamiliar world as a species he doesn't understand." Picard stood up and continued. "Although his word is has been less than reliable, I'm going to go talk to him and inform him of this plan. Meeting dismissed." With that the table was abandoned as everyone left their chair. As Picard was about to leave the room he was approached by Worf.

"Captain, do you wish for me to accompany you?''

"It's probably for the best if I do this alone. Besides I haven't heard of any trouble from his guard." Picard replied. Worf nodded and continued on leaving the captain to his thoughts. He began towards the detention cells hoping he had made the right call. And as much as he'd hate to admit it, Q's story was becoming more, and more plausible. His mind kept returning to what Q said earlier. That it was a punishment. He simply hoped that whatever Q had to say would be useful as he approached the door containing his cell

 **Day 1 The Holding Cell**

"I'm sitting on the sad excuse for a bench that has been supplied by my cell. Yes, a cell. Me. A once all powerful immortal Q. And now here I sit as a pitiful, limited, and utterly stupid...human. Even just thinking the word makes me cringe. But do I truly hate them? No. It is not their fault that their species is so frighteningly underdeveloped. Now that I think about it there truly isn't a species that I hate. There are some annoying, a few arrogant-refusing to accept help. And even a fair few who have evolved so...grotesquely, that they are beyond the help of even a Q! The Borg would be a true example of this. But what about humans?

Humans, have thankfully grown better than that. While most races have tried to kill me, good old Picard seemed to at least hold in his rage. I feel that this ship would be the only place I could go where I wouldn't be immediately executed. They would be much more enjoyable if not for their rather miniscule life expectancy. Most will barely even reach over century of life! A mere blink of an eye to a Q!" Q had stayed deep in thought for the majority of his stay.

All of this in combination with his severe lack of any trustworthy allies left the now man with a sensation that was almost never felt by a Q. Fear. Why would a god like creature that could bend space and time at will feel fear? The only time when a Q ever feared for his "never-ending" life was when one declared war on the other. But even then the Q were smart enough to never allow such a universally destructive event to occur...most of the time anyway. It was just one of the many emotions that he was now stuck feeling in excess.

On the other side of the force field stood a guard tasked specifically to keep a watch on the cell's resident. While only a handful of passengers believed Q's story, the bridge crew had the strongest doubts. In an uncharacteristic loss of composure Picard refused to speak with him any further. Insisting that it was all an elaborate joke. But with the time of his arrival nearing 15 hours, there have been no escape attempts. No strange occurrences. And most suspiciously no snark remarks or comebacks. In fact few words even left the man's mouth. Although the evidence was strongly supporting his plea, it failed to have any effect on the intense fear of the security officer guarding the cell.

"Am I even going to get a chance to speak to Picard!" Q spoke up with an impatient tone. The trembling officer quickly turned to face the agitated man.

"I don't know. I haven't been given any orders beyond guarding…" He responded with all the courage and confidence of an unarmed human about to get into a fist fight with a Klingon.

Q sat there wearing an almost defeated expression. He was starting to feel...odd. He found himself blinking more often along with his eyes watering. He was tempted to get up and pace around his cell only to find that something was discouraging him. He had felt the urge to lay down on the cell bed for reasons unknown to him. After accepting that the Captain wasn't coming anytime soon, he gave into the urge and experimentally lowered himself onto the bed. After a few minutes passed in that position his eyelids felt heavier as he struggled to keep them open. He was filled with a sense of panic as his eyes finally closed completely unknowingly succumbing to the human activity called sleep.

A sense of relief had come over the guard as he looked over his shoulder to find Q asleep. He hadn't decided if he had bought the Q's story or not. Much of the crew has already been told of the demigod's antics and were warned to avoid him at all costs. But unlike most of the enterprise he had seen Q first hand on multiple occasions, and it didn't take a genius to tell that something was wrong. Different. He had seen Q. This wasn't Q. Even if he had wholeheartedly accepted his story he couldn't prove it. So little was known of the Q Continuum and their rules that it was anybody's guess. He stood there blankly staring into the darkness as these thoughts took over his mind as he changed shifts.

30 minutes later.

Q finally regained consciousness as he sat up instantly

With a fearful look on his face. The guard had been startled by this and jumped back instinctively putting his hand on his phaser.

Q looked at the new guard for a moment before speaking."What happened? I briefly lost consciousness. How long has it been?...!" The man had started shouting questions at the guard.

"Was he joking? Did he really not know what sleeping was? Was it possible that he passed out?" The guard thought unsure of how to respond.

"Well?!...Did you do something to me?!"

He kept his hand on his phaser as he replied. Afraid of Q's reaction. "You fell asleep." This simply earned him a look of confusion. Not thinking the guard blurted out the question on his mind. "Don't you Q sleep?"

He backed up in fear as Q stood up from his bed and marched up to the force field only to yell, "What do I have to do to convince you I'm human?!"

Before the guard could say anything Picard walked in. The old guard in tow.

After a moment Picard turned to face the new guard.

"Cadets you may wait outside, I wish to speak with him alone. You will stay on guard until further orders"

"Understood"

 **Q's POV**

Picard stood in place and sighed before finally making his way toward the force field. When he actually arrived he studied me for almost a minute before asking the million dollar question.

"What do you want Q? What sort of game are you playing this time? You show up on my bridge, and try to convince me that you don't have your powers. What's going on!?"

I sighed knowing he wasn't going to believe me. He, along with the rest of his species knew nothing of the Q Continuum. Including our-their rules. The members of the enterprise bridge crew are some of the only humans who can say that they have seen a Q. "I'm human."

"I don't know what you're trying to pull here but cut it out!" Maybe I should have chosen Vulcan.

"I was kicked out of the continuum." Klingon wouldn't have been a bad choice either.

"You're lying" You're really starting to get on my nerves Picard

"Why do you immediately believe that I'm lying!"

"Because every time you've shown up on MY ship, you caused irreparable damage! Putting us in situations that have cost the lives of crew members, destroying entire sections of the ship! You-" I cut him off in a bout of rage. This idiot just wouldn't listen! And I snapped.

"The continuum banished me after upsetting a few petty little races!They stripped me of my powers, Stole my immortality, and left me to die! The only luxury I was given was the ability to choose the place I'd be dumped, and the species that I'd die as!" I yelled as loud as I could. I stood there gasping for the air that I now needed, as I waited for him to have the audacity to accuse me of lying.

There was a moment of complete silence as he stood with his mouth slightly agape. Before he could respond the first guard entered with his hand resting on his phaser.

"Sir, i-is everything alright?" Just wonderful the cowardly lion returns!

After a moment Picard turned to face his failure of a guard.

"Everything's fine, return to your station."

The idiot walked out the door without a word.

"Q...you're not lying are you."

"Look me in the eye Picard!" He slowly turned around and locked his eyes on mine.

"No Picard! N.O.! Do you know how much I wish I was lying!?" His expression tried to revert to it's usual Starfleet poker-face, and failed.

"Q if you really are telling the truth...why did you come here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Q every time you have come into my ship you nearly destroy it, and everyone in it. You threw us to the Borg! What makes you think that I'd help you?"

I had an unexplainable feeling in my gut, as my body began the slight trembling It had before I went to that abyss dimension. I've lost my powers, I'm basically homeless, and the only one whom I thought that I could call a friend has left me as the Q did. I never thought that I would be in such a position. But it looks like my only chance may be to beg...If I ever regain my powers the Continuum will pay for this.

"Q look-" Here goes nothing.

"I only chose here because I knew that you wouldn't immediately kill me! No other species would have allowed me to live long enough to explain!" This is humiliating. He seems to at least be listening.

"How do you expect me to help you? I didn't think it was possible that you could be turned human. We can't fight for your powers back. We had virtually no power over you when you were a Q! We're talking about a race that can defeat the Borg with a simple thought. What I'm trying to say, is what help could I provide?" I've yet to find a race capable of defeating the Q.

"I'm not asking for you to fight. I don't know how to be human."

"Are you saying that you want to stay on the enterprise?" Took you long enough.

"Well?"

"If this is all just an elaborate prank-" He's starting to get angry again. At least it looks like he's suppressing some of it. He stood there without finishing his threat. He sighed yet again and calmed himself.

"Fine Q. You win." He went silent as if deep in thought " You will be provided with your own private quarters. You will work as an ensign with the possibility of being promoted. But any evidence that your powers are still intact, any at all, and everything is off! Do you understand?"

He actually believed me. He's actually helping me! I don't believe it.

"You will stay where you are until everything is set. After which a security officer will escort you to your new quarters." He stared at me for a minute as if he was contemplating something.

"Welcome to the USS Enterprise Q"


	2. Day 1 Part 2

It was early morning by now, and Picard had constructed a plan that in theory could work. And while he had yet to be completely convinced, he knew that something would have to be done. Even if Q really was playing some sort of joke, he couldn't deny the consequences of leaving him alone if he truly wasn't.

It was a long shot. And he was certain that he was going to regret it. But he intended to have Q share quarters with the guard that had watched him while he was in the holding cell.

Ensign Joshua Williams. The security officer who first stood guard outside of Q's cell. He has had more experience dealing with the Q than nearly the entire ship combined, and most importantly, he doesn't openly hate him as most of the crew does.

The reason for this is that the ex-god would have no clue on how to do simple things. Eating, sleeping, working… He nor any of the bridge crew would have time to teach him. Leading him with his current plan. The ensign could also watch him more closely to ensure that he really does, or doesn't have his powers. He had just called the man to his office, and was waiting for him to arrive. He still wasn't too sure of his set up but it was all they had.

He recalls the reactions of the bridge crew as he briefed them on it. Troi had said that although risky, the potential friendship might be the best thing for him. Riker had shown extreme hesitance, but reluctantly agreed with Troi. LaForge was shown to be more open to it. Stating that we won't know the outcome until we try. Data noted the possible danger but had a similar view to LaForge. Worf understandably had the most negativity towards it all. He only agreed to at least try it because the ensign was a security officer.

Picard was broken out of his thoughts as the ensign walked in. The man was pale with short, neat brown hair. His green eyes standing out from his otherwise unremarkable appearance. "You wanted to see me sir."

"Yes Mr. Williams. Have a seat this may take awhile." The man quickly sat down. He was startled when he got called, afraid that he somehow did something wrong.

Trying to find the right words, Picard began, "If you recall Q has paid us another visit."

"Yes sir. He claimed to be human." He replied encouraging the captain to continue.

"Correct. But we have a problem." He said carefully observing the officers reaction.

"We believe he is telling the truth."

"What?" Joshua replied before catching himself and adding, "So he's telling the truth then?"

"Yes. Although we can never be truly sure, we are heavily leaning towards yes."

Do to the disbelief on the man's face Picard felt a bit of doubt from his last statement.

"Mr. Williams, did anything happen while you were guarding the cell, that could disprove my last statement?" His eyes went wide for a moment before replying.

"No sir." He thought for second before continuing, "Permission to speak freely sir?"

"Permission granted."

"I personally thought he was telling the truth since the beginning. I like to think that I've seen him enough to know what he's like. But the man that you told me to watch, wasn't him. It didn't feel like him. He was different somehow." He finished. Looking at the captain for a reply.

"So you believe it then." Picard said surprised yet happy that he at least didn't have to convince him. But he noticed that the man in front of him was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

"Sir, with all due respect, what does this have to do with me?" He looked at the captain expectantly.

"Might as well spit it out." Picard thought dreadfully. "I have an assignment for you. I cannot say how long it will take you to complete it. But I believe you to be one of the only people who can do it." Joshua sat up straighter at the mention of an assignment. "You will be placed into bigger quarters for your assignment, and your other duties and responsibilities will be lowered to accommodate the extra work." Picard steeled himself for the possible reaction. "But for the assignment itself, you will be sharing these new quarters with Q." The man's face twisted into complete surprise and disbelief. The captain couldn't decide if the silence was a good thing or not. But he continued nonetheless, "Q knows as much about us as we do him. Due to this your purpose is to teach him the basics of humanity and mortal living. You are also to monitor him for any evidence that his powers are still intact. If you do find evidence. You will come to me immediately."

He sat there to a full minute processing everything he was just told. Picard waited. Prepared to give him all the time he needed. He finally met eyes with the captain, "Sir, I don't know if I can do this."

"We picked you for a few reasons Mr. Williams." He didn't budge. So he thought of a compromise, "If in a week's time you feel that you absolutely cannot handle it, you may quit. But you must do it for at least a week." He loathed the idea of having to find another person, but it would give him at least a week to do it. The panicked man calmed down slightly and agreed.

"Okay a week. W-When do I start sir."

"Tonight. You are relieved of your duties for the rest of the day to pack your belongings, and transfer them to your new quarters." Picard stood up. "You are dismissed."

He touched his communicator. "Worf."

"Yes captain?"

"Please come to my office to show Mr. Williams to his new quarters."

"...I'm on my way captain." Picard let out a breath of relief now that the task of convincing him was done.

(The Bridge)

Riker sat in the captain's chair on the bridge with the rest of the bridge crew. Everyone was somewhat tense as they awaited news from Picard. To pass the time and ease some of the tension they all started a friendly bet on whether or not Q's "babysitter" had taken the assignment or not. Riker, Worf, and LaForge said no. But Data and Troi went with the other option.

The bridge was almost entirely silent until the captain's voice was heard on Worf's communicator. "Yes Captain?" Everyone turned to Worf, eager to find out what happened.

"Please come to my office to show Mr. Williams to his new quarters." No matter who bet on what, the answer shocked all of them. Especially Worf who took a full second to respond.

"...I'm on my way captain."

All eyes followed Worf as he left the bridge. Riker turned to LaForge. "I can't believe it. He accepted it."

"I'm just as shocked as you."

(The New Quarters)

Worf had quickly made his way to the office. Upon getting there he was faced with a clearly panicked ensign and a less obvious stressed Picard. He swiftly took the man and began the silent trek to the living area of the ship. He admired the man next to him, and much as he assumed him insane. He'd imagined that even a human Q is an obnoxious Q. He wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy. But as much as he hates the idea of Q living on the Enterprise, he couldn't deny that he was extremely curious as to how this would all work. He refrained from making conversation. He already looked like he had enough on his mind already.

After walking him to the door, he stopped and said the first sentence of the trip, "We're here."

"Thanks." He walked in without another word. Despite the pang of sympathy he felt for the officer he started his way back to the bridge where Riker will inevitably ask how traumatized the guy was. Troi will with no doubt feel his sorrow from a lightyear away.

Josh sighed as he entered the much anticipated new quarters. It was clearly much bigger than his old ones. Along with a larger living space, he found two bedrooms right next to each other off to the left. The other side held a small kitchen with a table fit for two. There was also a bathroom uncomfortably close to the kitchen. But he figured that as long as he didn't think about it he'd be fine.

Luckily his old quarters weren't that far from here. So he at least would be able to move fairly quickly. He didn't have too many personal belongings. Most of his clothes were just uniforms. He never decorated. Preferring to leave it blank. Beyond things such as his toothbrush he didn't bother with much else. So in an attempt to lighten his mood and ease some of the stress he decided to try and pack as slowly as possible to get his mind off his predicament for now.

Even if the captain said it would only be a week he was sure it would be more. After all everyone either hates Q or are too afraid to go near him. That didn't mean that he himself wasn't afraid. He was just more curious than anything. With these thoughts and analyzations to left to his old quarters to finally begin packing.

It only took him two hours to pack up everything and bring them to what he hoped was his temporary home. Breathing slightly heavy from the mild exertion he was far more calm than he had been all day. In the back of his mind he wondered if this could actually work. He had already accepted the assignment. So he might as well make the best of it. He briefly pondered if it would even be possible to befriend Q. The thought lingered as he emptied the box with his personal belongings on his bed. He had set aside a few extra sets of clothes that he planned on giving to Q. But to his surprise everything was already stocked. Q's dresser was full. And after looking around he found that the bathroom and kitchen already had everything provided. He took minute to relish in the fact that he didn't have to do it himself.

But the stress free mood didn't last long as it got later in the evening. Soon his "roommate" would be joining him. And that thought alone terrified, and interested him.

And as if on cue his communicator beeped. "Ensign Williams, are you ready to pick up Q?" He didn't recognize the voice on the other end, but he let himself chuckle at how she made it sound like he was picking up a child from daycare.

"Yes. I'm on my way."

He left instantly. He never thought it was possible to be fascinated while being so dreadful he almost wishes he was never placed on the USS Enterprise to begin with.

Almost.

He practically ran to the cells. After getting there he walked in the room to find the most bored, apathetic, zombie of a guard he had ever seen. When he saw Josh, he gave him the most sympathetic look he was certain that somewhere, somehow, Counselor Troi was hyperventilating.

The broken guard wasted no time it opening the cell, grabbing Q by the arms. "Just what are you-!" and roughly shoving him towards Josh.

"He's you problem now!" He yelled with all the joy in the world as he shoved them both out the door and into the hallway. After a moment of catching their balance and processing what the heck just happened Josh looked Q dead in the eye "What?" He could already tell this was going to be a long night.

"You know what? I don't want to know." Q shrugged in response. "Just follow me alright?" He started walking with Q in tow.

"So, do you just want to be called "Q"?" He looked confused for a moment.

"Well it is my name." Q replied before studying him. To say that it made him uneasy was an understatement.

"I've seen you before."

"Yeah I was the guard by your cell when you first got here."

"Of course how could I forget the Cowardly Lion." He said in a jovial tone.

He pushed down a jolt of embarrassment before he spoke again, "my name is Joshua Williams. Please just call me Josh."

"Well then Josh, where am I going off to now?"

This confused him for a second. Was he even told about the plan? Because he definitely didn't want to be the one to do it. He couldn't think of anything better than to just say it quickly. Get straight to the point.

"We're sharing quarters. I'm supposed to help you now that you're human." Q stared at him with a blank face. It almost looked mournful for a split second before resuming it usual boredom and nonchalance.

"Well I'd be lying if I said that the that wasn't the weirdest thing to happen to me today." Josh briefly wondered if he picked up the wrong Q. The rest of the trip back to the quarters was silent. When they got to the door Q let out a long exhausted yawn. It took until just now for Josh to realize just how bad he looked. He had bags under his eyes, a pale complexion and a slouched frame. His anger and annoyance had faded out after taking notice. "Q, you need to get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

Q shot him another look of confusion. "What is a sleep and how do I get it?" Josh fought the urge to laugh.

"Sleep gives you energy. If you're sick, or hurt, it will help to heal it." He felt like he was talking to a child.

"Fine but how do I do it"

"Do you remember when you blacked out in your cell?"

"Yes…"

"That was sleep." Although Q would never admit it, he was actually terrified of what happened to him during his nap on the cell bed.

"If sleep helps you then why do I feel worse now than I did before it."

"You probably just didn't sleep long enough."

"Is there a way to get to sleep?"

"You lay down, close your eyes, and it'll happen eventually." Q looked at him before lying on the ground. "Q, n-no you get in a...you know what? Follow me I'll show you." Q rolled his eyes before wordlessly getting up and following him. He led him to his bedroom and showed him his bed. "You lay on this. If you just lay on the floor you'll be in pain when you wake up." He barely finished his sentence before Q flopped on the bed and closed his eyes. Josh stayed for about a minute and a half before he heard Q start to snore.

A/N this is my first attempt at really fleshing out an oc. The reason for his existence is that I couldn't see Q staying with any of the other major crew members. The obvious choice would be Picard himself. But would the captain logically have the time? The same goes for Riker. I just couldn't see him with Troi, and Worf would refuse. The idea I originally had was with Data and LaForge. I think the three would have gone brilliantly with each other. But even then we get the same issue as with Picard. So I ultimately settled on an oc.


End file.
